I Never Told You
by angelsinstead
Summary: John has something important he has to say to Blair.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

This story is AU.

~*~o~*~

John lay in bed holding a beautiful woman with long blond hair. There was only one problem. The woman he held was not his wife. As he cradled Marty against his chest, he realized he had made a horrible mistake. He'd left Blair for Marty, despite all of her tears. In the process, he had broken Blair's heart. Now it was his first night alone with Marty, but their lovemaking hadn't gone all that well. Right in the middle of making love, Marty had froze. When he asked her what was wrong, she had told him she'd been thinking of Todd. It was obvious that Marty still had Todd on her mind. And as much as John was attracted to Marty, he missed his wild and crazy times with Blair. With an aching heart, he knew what he must do.

"Marty, wake up," he whispered to her in the darkness.

"What is it, John?" she asked him sleepily.

"Remember earlier, when were so close to making love, and you pulled away..."

"Yeah, John, I'm so sorry, but Todd won't leave my head. I- I think I am still in love with him," Marty admitted.

"Ummm yeah... I sort of thought so... But that's okay. You're just not ready to let go of him yet."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "You don't deserve that... after you left Blair for me."

"I shouldn't have left Blair," John said gruffly. "I still love her, although I never said the words."

"You love Blair?" Marty gasped softly. "Then what are you doing with me?"

"Same thing you are doing with me, but you love Todd."

"No, it's not the same thing. You could be with Blair. You're still married to her. But I can't be with Todd."

"I know what you had with Todd is far more complicated, but maybe you should reconsider..."

"No, I'm not ready for that..." Marty said as she sat up in bed, looking greatly upset.

"Marty, I can't tell you what to do... or even give you advice on what I THINK you should do. Hell, I can't even handle my own love-life. I just want to say I am sorry for what almost happened between us. I don't want to hurt you. You've already been through so much hell," John said as he caressed her cheek.

"It's okay, John. You don't owe me anything. If you love Blair, you should be with her. It's obvious that what you and I have isn't working..."

"I'm sorry," he said again as he gently kissed her lips. "It's going to be okay... I promise."

After a tender kiss, he stood up and started putting on his clothing. Marty lay there in the near-darkness with a sad expression on her face, but it truly wasn't because John was leaving. Her heart was aching for Todd.

"I'll see you soon," he said as he gently kissed her hand and quietly left the bedroom.

~*~o~*~

"I've been such a fool," Blair was thinking as she lay in their bed with tears shining in her eyes. Why did she let him hurt her? And worse than that, why had she fallen in LOVE with him? She'd vowed not to love a man and give her heart again after Todd, but by some miracle, John had found a way inside her fortress. He'd worn down all her defenses, and he was now so deeply entrenched in her heart. Even so, it wasn't to be. He had left her for Marty. Marty Saybrooke of all people! What a fool she was to have fallen in love with John McBain.

"I hate him! I HATE him! I HATE HIM!" she sobbed aloud while punching her pillow, but the truth was she loved and missed him with all her soul. She missed his blue eyes and the warmth of his touch. She missed EVERYTHING about him. His naughty little smirk and his kinky ways. Even the way he said her name. If only she had told him she loved him, maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe she'd have him now, and she wouldn't be so alone.

"If only I could get him back, but I don't know how," Blair lamented. "He'll never come back to me. He loves HER!"

With tears streaming from her eyes, she crawled out of bed and hurriedly dressed. She was going to find him, wherever he may be and ask him for a second chance. She'd tell him they couldn't be over, because she loved him so much. She'd BEG him to come back to her.

After she was dressed, she rushed down the staircase, eager to look for him. As she opened the door, she collided with the solid wall of his chest. "It's you," she spoke in a tiny gasp.

"Where do you think you are going at this time of the night, Blair?" John asked as he searched her eyes. He didn't miss the tear stains marring her lovely face.

"I was going to look for you."

"Why?" he asked as he held her against him and would not let her go.

"Because I love you so much, John... although I never said the words... I mean them. I love you... and it's KILLING me to be without you. I need-."

He cut her off with his hungry kiss. He fisted her hair in his hands until she surrendered to him, kissing him back with a matching hunger. "I love you, too, Blair," he said as he pulled away and looked into those amazing amber eyes of hers.

"What about Marty?" she questioned.

"It was a mistake. One I deeply regret. But that's over now. And I'd like to come home. If you still want me?"

"If I still want you? Ohhh my God, John... I am going out of my mind without you. Please come home."

Without a word, John lifted Blair into his arms and carried her upstairs to their bed. He lay her down on it to make hot, passionate love to her. "I love you so much... and I'm never gonna leave you again," he whispered to her in the afterglow of their passion.

"I love you, too. Welcome home, John."

THE END


End file.
